there's only 2 of u...

i'm not being myself...
when there's only 2 of u...
i lost one from my life...
i really don't want it to happen again...

when i found another 1...
i really hope to throw my arms around u...
i want to be there for u and support u...
i'm not a perfect man...
but i sure am want to making progress...
haha i'm not the guy for u i guess...
u deserve better although i really felt pain thinking that way...

well i'm so complicated to be with i guess...
haha but i also try my best...
i hope it count for something...
or anything...
mostly i'm a nuisance...
for both of them...
and i also being a bad friend too...
i really don't want to through this again...

i don't know if there will be no.3...
i really don't want that...
sumpah...
coz if i want u i want only u...
took me years to get myself moving on...
other girls that came feels like emptiness...
i'm full of lacks, flaws...

but how can i say that?
when Allah S.W.T yang menentukan jodoh dan hidup seseorang...
yaa i memang redha...
seriously redha pada sume yg jadik...
cume hati ni still sakit even though i smile...
"as long as u're happy..."
always said that...
and i mean it...
i always pray for u both...
hopefully u girls will find the best guy and not a guy like me...
cheers luv...

...

teringat abah td...
not expecting that...
well that's what blood is all about...
darah persaudaraan tu kuat...
even after 23 years...
we can still felt a hint of missing...
Al-Fatihah...

a vagabond in me... and yous too...

up until now...
who are u eh...?
and who am i...?
what are our purpose to lives...
what are the answer...
but most of us now are not interested in finding the answer...
seems like this "new world" is so crooked and fool us to know ourselves...

sekarang nampak sumernye tersusun...
lepas sekolah, sekolah lagi...
then university...
then keje...
then u retired...
but have u thought about if u're in the before times where everyone knows that the earth is flat and stuffs...?
at that time people sure know how to make themselves learn the value of living...
making names and carve it in a course of history...
owh how i wish to do that...

heh...
i always thought that i could be a damn good samurai if i live in those years in japan...
and i always thought i also could be the best blacksmith back in the knighty days...
but nowadays people seem less caring on this part...
i mean the needs to fulfill ur own role for the world...
so now it's educational eh...?
but then u'll end up working for companies and retired...
is there any motives to life then...?

so i knew about this for a while now...
why i always think..?
it's because i'm a vagabond inside...
i still don't know what i suppose to do...
felt something's wrong...
but i do know i can spread somethings through melody...
that's why i love music...

so now u know one of the reasons eh...
probably i can do something through music...
maybe that's my role...
or maybe i'll be carve in history by killing 154 men in a war to come...
but hopefully there are none of that...
only Allah S.W.T knows our role...
but what we can decided is what is the best for all...
cheers!! to that...

learn to read more pages instead of just the cover

how interesting is psychology eh..?
well i never had any lesson on that part...
but i really know something...
people are interesting...
how can we know someone from their style, behavior, even cara diorang bercakap...
probably billions of various ways...
and to know that we can do anything by knowing them...

i admit...
i do manipulate people in many ways...
but i'm doing it for the good cause eh...
ahaha...
others might not realise it...
i'm sorry for it to happen...
but how else can u get ur friends face 200 peoples when he's on stage without getting goosebumps eh...?

so i did a little "motivation" on another side of his brain...
i don't know how to put it...
tapi antara cara2 aku pernah buat dulu, aku saje "made" myself in the spotlight...
ahahahaha...
jadik active and gila2...
bg crowd suka kat aku...
then my bandmates will having a laughs and ease their pressure because the crowds would mostly aim their eyes on me...
well we have to do something...
and i'm manipulating them...
in good way...
kan..?

ahahahaha...
all i want to say is that u shud learn to read much more pages instead of the cover...
u can do most of the good things...
heck u could know how to manage ur children even when they still not born...
if u know how to "psycho" people really...
ahahaha...
so i'm writing gibberish...
pass the time pass the time...
cheers!!! eh...

Scratch for an Itch

so what has i been up to lately...?
hmm busy...
or probably i kept myself busy...
some i resent...
and i hate resentment...

new music...?
still listening to the same bands...
Bloc Party seems nice...
love them blokes eh...
totally creative making sounds combining to become a music...
respect and honor...
what about the locals...?
many new faces...
and a whole lot of new names...
interesting and i'm just only heard only half of them really...
where can u get the idea of making J-Rock Malaya...?
ahaha i'm really enjoy those music...

myself...?
i'm getting tired of thinking...
so much had happen but i just can't seems to forget it...
some of yous could...
but maybe not me eh...
i kinda miss the old days...
meeting old mates and the old me...
can't really believe i'm 23 this year too...
ahaha and so how about moving on...?

i really hope all those people at my past had move on...
go to something new...
or someone new...
from a boy to become a men...
from a women to become a wife...
learn the maturity of your knowledge...
i left my boots behind but some of them are still in me...
heh.. probably there are some things that we can't let go...
or those things meant to be part of ourselves...
or we can't forget our past loves...
but still...
we just can pray for the happiness and prosperous...
let us moving along eh...

"don't give up~!!"

well that what i always want to say...
seems easy to just saying it...
ahaha...
i'm getting a headache now...
let's cheers!! for us...
until later yaa......

wow~!! and this's really a new post...

it's been a while eh...?
not in the mood to write for months now...
sorry to all my fans... ( erk... there are...? )
ahaha...

nothing to write here really...
just doing my best for final exam...
wish me luck...

owh i kinda met a rose...
but lets just see...
am i ready again...?
or am i not...?
i still don't know what my heart tells me...
but probably kinda new chapter...

i'll be updating this blog yaa...
try a new face...
until then...
cheers!! with lurve...

really not a comfy spot...

ahh...
things never seems simpler...
why is that i suppose...
how things seems kinda similar to the tv eh....
what a drama...

i'm bored for a while now...
open the youtube pon xtau ape nak wat...
i've opened whose line is it anyway... snagglepuss sucks... some 9/11 theories...
and yeah too much free times could also kill u...
u bored as hell...
nak kuar kene jaga umah...
for fuck...?
im really being angry for some while now...
there is always someone who judge me...
but actualy she/he don't know exactly about me or wut i really meant...
and it's sucks to being patient over that everyday...
tahan je...

and wuts this always playing in my head yaa...
actualy i really dont want to write this...
because she could be reading this...
yeah and im an infamous blogger...
ahahahaha....
just hope that i can make the right move...
and decision...
probably ....

owh yeah...
things havent been so well with me...
my neck is swollen...
and i look like the wrestler brock lesnar...
i hope it can be fine...
im not the clinic to go type...
im really not feeling comfy there...
i pray and pray it will go well...

things seems now everyday i will get agitated over something...
being angry...
well who wouldn't...
just hopefully it wont always be like this...
i really hope for it...
cheers! to that...